Heavy metal singer Saeko has faced countless challenges throughout her career, and if you ask me, she’s one of the most resilient people I’ve ever known. In celebration of her second Kickstarter project (LINK HERE), we had an in-depth conversation about her latest album Holy Are We Alone (我等独尊), the profound impact of the COVID pandemic on her work, her time with the power metal band Fairy Mirror, and her triumphant return after overcoming serious health issues.
Saeko is (attempting) to come back
The featured songs on the mini-album
Now, let’s say — hypothetically, but I hope — that the Kickstarter is super successful. I just want to say, I loved your previous album. And honestly, I felt bad when COVID hit because it felt like you were left stranded again, with no way to do anything. But yeah, if the Kickstarter goes well and you release this mini album, what kind of songs will it have? What’s the concept for this mini-album cycle?
Ah, I haven’t reviewed the final results yet — I was planning to check them in a few days, but I guess I’ll do that now! I ran a popularity poll, and the plan was to cover the top three songs from it. The third most popular was “Sinners For False Lights”, from my first album. The second one was “Seek the Light” — yeah, that’s also a nice one. And the top song, the most popular one, was “Sins for the Gods”.
Reworking old (and new) songs from Saeko
Okay, that’s a bit surprising — but still a nice one.
Yeah, why does it feel strange to you?
Well, it’s just that there are so many other songs, you know? I don’t want to say it’s not a good song — it is — but I think there are even better ones. But that’s just my taste, of course. That said, I do agree with the top three — they’re all good songs, and I’m curious to see how they’ll be reworked with this new lineup.
Also, I’m pretty sure it will turn out much better this time — though that doesn’t mean what we did back then was bad or anything. But you know, that was my first album as a solo artist, and at the time, I didn’t know how to approach everything. It was also my first time working with Michael, who’s still part of my project now as the drummer — which is great! But back then, he was also the main arranger.
Now it’s Guido Benedetti handling the arrangements, by the way. Anyway, when I started working with Michael, it was all very new to me. I didn’t know how Michael would interpret my songs, so there was a lot of figuring things out. Now, though, we know each other much better. And I think I’ve also grown — both as a person and as a musician. I’ve had more experience, and I’m better at working with other people. So overall, I think the results should be much better this time.
Working together with Fairy Mirror
Well, since you mentioned that things should be much better now because you know the people you’re working with — what have you learned from Guido, for example? Or from Michael? Because the more you work with certain musicians, the more you start to understand their unique styles and quirks, right?
Yeah, definitely — and it’s not just their personalities, but also their working styles, you know? Before all this, I was the singer of a band called Fairy Mirror, and even before that, I worked with other bands too. Back then, when I wrote songs, I would usually just bring my basic song ideas to the band rehearsal, and all the members — the drummer, guitarist, and bassist — would kind of jam together and spontaneously shape the song into something more interesting as a group.
I would usually write the song on my keyboard, and maybe I’d add some very simple drum patterns, but I didn’t have to fully compose all the instrumental parts. If I brought an intro, a chorus, or a bridge, of course, I’d put some ideas or experimental parts in there, but—
Saeko working together with her band
I mean, when you work that way, it’s easier to understand where you can take the song, yeah.
But back then, I didn’t need to write everything in such detail because I left a lot of the instrumental parts up to the band members. I would just give some general directions — like, “Okay, maybe you can have a solo here, and here, and there” — and that was pretty much it.
But when I started working with Michael, and later with other musicians, I realized that working this way wasn’t possible anymore. Especially in Europe, where the process was different — first, we recorded the songs, and then we played them together. It’s kind of the other way around compared to how I was used to working.
Complex structures in Saeko songs
Okay, interesting.
I realized I had to write much more detailed instrumental parts from the start. Otherwise, the songs would end up sounding — I don’t want to say boring, but — a bit too simple in terms of structure. And that’s not really what I wanted.
In my head, I always had these more complex ideas because I love bands like Dream Theater. Not that I necessarily wanted to make something super impressive, but I’ve always loved songs with a lot of development and twists in the instrumental sections.
So back when I worked directly with the band, that kind of complexity would naturally come out during rehearsals — I didn’t have to plan it all myself. But now I’ve realized that if I want to hand over my songs to musicians who are going to arrange them themselves, I need to show my ideas very clearly and in detials from the very beginning.
Stopping the activities of Saeko
Okay, so — you know, I wanted to ask you something. I know you had to stop your activities for about two years because of COVID-19, visa issues, and health problems. What was it that kept you going through all of that? What made you fight to come back?
Well, first of all, when I came back to Japan, I was disappointed. Like you said, because of COVID, I couldn’t do much at all. It wasn’t even about what I wanted to do — I simply wasn’t allowed to do anything. If I could’ve stayed in Germany, or somewhere in Europe, maybe I could’ve just waited it out. But because I’m not an EU citizen, I wasn’t allowed to stay.
And you know, when you want to move from Japan to Europe — not just for a visit, but to actually live and work there — you need a visa, and that whole process takes a lot of time and paperwork. I went through all of that. I did all the applications, dealt with the immigration office, everything. And, I finally got the visa, and then COVID hit — and suddenly, I had to go back to Japan. After everything I went through to get there, I couldn’t believe it.
“My second attempt was ruined by COVID”
It was so hard just to stay in Europe, and then my second attempt was ruined by COVID. It was honestly not just emotionally exhausting, but financially too. I’m not a millionaire, you know? It was a huge blow.
But even after I got back to Japan, I kept getting messages from fans abroad saying, “Saeko, please come back, try again!” And at first, I was like, “No, no, no — even trying once is unbelievably hard.” Since I was 14, I had dreamed of living and working in Europe, and it took me 14 years just to make that move happen.
The first time I gave up, back in 2006, one of the biggest reasons was visa trouble. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was a huge part of it. My manager at the time — who sadly passed away — tried so hard to negotiate with the immigration office, but they just didn’t believe we could afford to keep me there. Ultimately, I felt like I had no choice but to give up because everything was so difficult.
Avoiding to do the same mistakes
So the second time, I told myself I wouldn’t make the same mistake. I hired a lawyer and worked hard to get a visa as a freelance artist. That way, my visa wouldn’t depend on any company or production contract — even if I lost the contract, I wouldn’t lose my visa. I thought I had learned my lesson, and I was determined not to repeat the same mistakes.
Despite everything, it didn’t work out again. I was forced to go back to Japan. To make matters worse, I got even injured on the way from Germany to Japan. I’m okay now, but back then, I could barely move. It took me about a year just to figure out what was wrong with my body. I went to several hospitals, but the first three doctors couldn’t figure it out. Just getting a proper diagnosis took a year, and after that, I needed treatment and rehab. I spent at least another year — maybe longer — trying to recover, without knowing if I would ever get better.
“Maybe this is the end (of Saeko)”
At some point, I started thinking, “Maybe this is the end.” I’m a pretty humble person, so I started wondering if this was fate or destiny — some kind of sign that my music dream was over. Like the universe was telling me, “That’s it. Time to do something else.”
Because if I couldn’t move, I couldn’t sing — at least not the way I wanted to. Especially with heavy metal and this kind of music, it’s not just about your vocal cords. You have to train your whole body to support your singing. If I couldn’t move properly, I wouldn’t be able to perform, even if I could sing one or two songs. So I started to accept that maybe my career was done.
But then, around the summer or fall of last year, something shifted. There’s something I haven’t talked about much — but I think a lot of artists, especially at the early stages of their careers, go through situations where they get taken advantage of. That happened to me too.
Unfair practices
I won’t go into all the details, but there was a Japanese major label executive and also a German lawyer who looked into my situation. They both said I should take my case to the International Court. I had lost a lot of money — not just lost, but money that should have been mine had been taken away by people I trusted. I had no idea at the time, but these people uncovered it. They told me the amount was significant, and they strongly recommended that I sue.
But I didn’t have the money to go to court, so I just gave up on that. As a result, I ended up in a situation where — even though I was the one writing all the songs — I was left with no income from my music. Meanwhile, other people around me were making money off of my work. It was discouraging. This is what happened between 2006 to 2017. But then around summer or the fall of last summer, I finally saw a little money coming in. It was, of course, a good feeling although it was not much.
Resuming activities of Saeko
Listen, Saeko — you’ve already mentioned trying three times to return to Europe and stabilize your career there. Now, with your band being fully European, it seems like things are falling into place. If, and I’m hoping this second Kickstarter is successful, everything works out, you’ll still be based in Japan while working with your European band, touring in places like Germany, Italy, and beyond. So, my question is — does that mean you’re not planning to go through that whole process of moving to Europe and trying to establish a permanent base there again? Or, are you still considering giving it another shot?
Do you mean if I’m going to try living in Europe again?
Yeah…
I wouldn’t be able to do that, even if I wanted to. It costs too much money. At the end of the day, no one can sponsor me — so I’d be at square one again, just like before.
Just staying in Japan
But you know, I also thought that nowadays, a lot can be done online. Maybe I could just visit Europe from time to time when it’s necessary. It’s still expensive to fly, but it’s much cheaper than trying to live there.
Plus, I have friends all over — in Germany, the Netherlands, Italy, and other countries in Europe — so if I stay with friends, I wouldn’t have to spend so much on accommodation either.
So I started thinking, maybe I can keep going without actually living in Europe. Of course, if I had the choice, I’d still prefer to live there — but realistically, I just can’t. I’ve already tried twice, and it didn’t work out either time. Honestly, I have no idea how I could make it work unless I married someone here. I mean, technically, that would work — but I don’t want to marry someone just for that. I could never do that if I didn’t love the person.
Hypothetically touring
I thought there must be some way, even if it’s difficult. So let’s say — hypothetically — the Kickstarter is successful again, and you get offers to tour. How do you see that working out? Because I know you’ve been looking forward to performing live again.
I could just fly from Japan for the tour.
Okay, so you think it’s easier to organize tours while being based in Japan than trying to do it from Europe?
Not exactly — of course, I don’t think it’s easier. But if you don’t have enough money, or if you don’t have a visa, you have to find a way to work with what you do have. And I think it’s still possible — at least, I hope so
The biggest challenge is networking
The biggest challenge is networking. Usually, I build my network when I’m physically in Europe. You can talk to people online or by email, but it’s never quite the same. Strong connections are usually made in person, when you meet directly, face to face, and you get to know each other better. That’s why I’d still prefer to live in Europe — there are so many festivals and shows, and if I’m living there, I can just visit those events, meet people in the industry, and build strong relationships.
But if I’m living in Japan, the only option I have is to send emails or messages, and of course, that’s much harder. That said, I’ve also noticed that people who already know my music — even if they’re abroad — tend to be more open to talking online. So maybe it can work. At least, I hope so.
The last two gigs with Fairy Mirror
Well, I want to go back to something you mentioned — Fairy Mirror. I’d love to hear about those times. How was it performing with Fairy Mirror back then in Japan? And what are some of the best memories you have from that period?
I think the last two live shows we did were around 2000 — if I remember correctly, yeah. After that, I had to stop playing with them. Back then, I guess you could say I was a bit of an unlucky person… I was both the singer and the leader of the band, but I became seriously ill. My doctor ordered me to stop all musical activities.
The last two gigs with Fairy Mirror Part 2
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and at that time, I was already hospitalized. But I still wanted to perform, so I left my hospital bed to do two shows — one in Osaka and one in Tokyo. I think the very last show was in Tokyo. My mom drove me from my hospital in Osaka to Tokyo, and I was lying down in the car the whole way. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I could perform when we arrived because I was so weak. But somehow, we ended up delivering our best show ever that night.
The last two gigs with Fairy Mirror Part 3
Wow, really?
Yeah, everyone said it was perfect. And much later — years later, actually — when I was playing with Mari again (she was the bassist of Fairy Mirror), she told me something I didn’t know at the time.
Just before that last show, the band members had a serious discussion about whether we should even go through with it. They knew how bad my condition was — they were genuinely worried about my life. And they were afraid something could happen to me on stage like I might collapse or worse.
Also, they were considering telling me not to do the show at all. But in the end, they decided: If Saeko says she can do it, then we should believe in her. After all, we had fought together for so many years, and if I still believed I could make it through, they wanted to believe in me too. That was their conclusion.
But just in case, they made a backup plan. If I collapsed on stage, two of them would carry me backstage while the other two would stay on stage to explain to the audience what happened. They were really scared, but they didn’t show it to me at the time.
Against all odds
That’s intense.
Yeah, but once the show started, it was incredible — everything just came together perfectly. It felt like a miracle. Even Mari told me later she couldn’t believe how everything worked out. Somehow, against all odds, we delivered the best show of our lives.
Finding the right partner for Saeko Part 1
I wanted to ask you something else. You know, the crowdfunding is available until March 22nd, and I wanted to ask: this mini album will only be released if you reach the funding goal, but wouldn’t it be easier to search for a label to help you with that? I know that Pride and Joy helped you with your previous album.
Well, the last time, we did a crowdfunding campaign to produce the album ourselves. Of course, if there’s a really good label, I would consider it, but to be honest, I don’t think I’m that well-known yet. Also, especially with the last five years I spent in Europe, my goal was to get a freelance artist visa. Back then in Hamburg time (2002-2006), I got a visa based on my contract with the German companies, my visa was dependent on that contract. When I left the label, I lost my visa as well.
Finding the right partner for Saeko Part 2
And like I said, if there’s a really good company or production out there that offers the right kind of freedom, I’d be open to it. But throughout my life, I’ve had experiences — both in Japan and in Germany — where the labels tried to control my music, and I don’t want that.
If you accept money from a label, you’re often required to follow their direction, and I’ve been through that before. Lars was the only one who truly understood my vision and gave me the freedom I needed. Or, simply because they couldn’t understand what I was trying to express. I mean, I usually have a very deep, philosophical theme for every album. Everything, not only music, but also visual designs, song orders, and video images … everything must be the expression of the same theme. If the record company doesn’t understand what my theme is, they can unintentionally destroy my work.
No (musical) compromises
When I was younger, many people tried to push me to be like someone else, like, “You’ll be the next Britney Spears” or “You’ll be the next Nightwish.” Don’t get me wrong, I love Nightwish, but I’m not them. The labels saw me as just another commodity to sell, trying to copy other successful artists. And I’ve said no to that again and again.
Every time someone tried to tell me how to be successful, I’ve always said the same thing: I don’t care about being famous or a superstar. I just want to make good music and move people’s hearts with it. If that leads to success, then great — but it should just be the result, not the goal.
No (musical) compromises Part 2
These people who tried to manage me would say, “You have to be famous! To be famous, you need to be on the charts, especially in the US!” But I’m like, I don’t care about the American charts. If I wanted to be famous in the US, I’d do something completely different. I know that if I keep playing power metal or music like this, I won’t be famous on that scale, and I’ve known that from the start. Even when I started with Fairy Mirror back in 1994, it was pretty hopeless if you played that kind of music in Japan. But we still did it.
Lars was the only one who understood the vision of Saeko
So, if there’s a good production company that understands me and allows me to create freely, I’d be happy. But I’m very skeptical. Lars was the only one who understood my vision without interfering and gave me the space and freedom I needed to be myself.
Now, of course, King Records in Japan has always been very supportive, and I’m thankful to them. But I told them last time, “I prefer that the fund to produce the album is on me to do whatever I want and that they will help me with distribution and promotion.” They agreed.”
The collaboration with King Records
You mentioned the Japanese label just now. About the mini album, I know it will include “Universe: A Verse to the Universe”, which was previously only available in the Japanese version of Holy We Are Are We Alone. Do you think King Records will support your project once again?
Well, of course, if the crowdfunding campaign is successful, I think we will need to discuss things in more detail, but I believe they’ll help us again. Since it’s a mini album, I understand that it’s not always easy to profit from physical copies. So, I’m not entirely sure if they’ll support the physical release. Even if the crowdfunding is successful, the physical products will be very limited. However, I think it makes sense for them to help us with a digital release. Of course, we can release it ourselves digitally, but it’s nicer to have the support of a big label for such an important release.
Covering Fairy Mirror’s “Glorious Day”
And I also wanted to ask you about a cover song — “Glorious Day”, one of your signature songs from Fairy Mirror. Why did you decide to include it in this album, and are you still in contact with the other members of Fairy Mirror, or is that all water under the bridge?
I contacted them before deciding to cover it because “Glorious Day” was not just my song. The main composer of the song was the guitarist of Fairy Mirror, who sadly passed away in 2021. While the band arranged the songs together, he was the one who brought it all to life musically. I contacted the other members to ask for permission to cover it, and they were happy for me to do so.
Giving a chance to Fairy Mirror song
I’ve covered quite a few songs from those days. For example, “Sins for the Gods” (on my second album) was originally a Fairy Mirror song, and “Universe: A Verse to the Universe” was also from Fairy Mirror. It was part of the Japanese bonus track from Holy We Are Are We Alone?, and it’s also going to be released this time.
I loved what we created back then, but because we were such a young band, we never had the opportunity to do a proper recording. Sometimes, I regret that we didn’t get to properly capture some of those songs. “Universe: A Verse to the Universe” was a song we often played as the opener at our shows, but towards the end of the set, we would play a different song almost every time. “Glorious Day” was one of the songs we would play, and I believe it was one of the best songs we made.
Giving a chance to Fairy Mirror song Part 2
The thing is, we never recorded it properly. So I thought, I want to do this song. Lyrically, it fits very well with the current moment, too. It’s a song about bringing dead dreams and hopes back to life again. When I listened to it recently, I thought, Wait a minute, this song fits this moment. It felt so right.
This is also the first time I’m covering it with this lineup of my band, so it feels like an important, symbolic moment. “Glorious Day” is probably the most representative song of Fairy Mirror, and covering it now feels like proof that I’ve been following my musical path all along — true to my heart, consistent with my style.
It’s not about changing my music to fit trends or following the latest fashions. If you listen to this cover now, you’ll hear that I’ve stayed on my path. So I thought, Back to my roots, back to life. It just felt like the perfect song to cover at this time…
In the eventuality that…
I hope this plan works out for you. But if the Kickstarter doesn’t succeed, what would happen to the project?
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m thinking about right now. I have so many things on my mind. I love this new project, and I really hope it succeeds, but there’s always the chance that we miss the target by just a little—maybe 100 or 200 euros. That can happen. So, do you have any ideas for a backup plan?
Of course, you wouldn’t want to lose any money. If the campaign doesn’t reach its goal, you won’t get any of the funds, right?
Exactly.
Thinking about a Plan B for Saeko
But do you have a Plan B for this project, in case it doesn’t work out?
I’ve been thinking about it. I was talking to a friend about the same thing the other day—what I can do if it doesn’t succeed. He suggested that maybe I could try switching platforms and relaunch the campaign there.
Wow, that’s an option. But then you’d have to kind of recreate everything yourself and maybe try to find a collaborator or a label to support you. I know you’ve had some bad experiences with that, but at the end of the day, I think it could work, right? I mean, Pride and Joy did work out, didn’t it?
Yeah, but they’re not interested in making a contract for a mini-album.
No support for Saeko
Oh, seriously? That’s surprising.
Yeah, it’s pretty tough. As I said, it’s not easy to make a profit with a mini album.
I’m brainstorming a bit because I’m sad that this might not work out. Let’s face it, I love your music. And here I am sitting across from you, doing the interview, but I’m also a huge fan of your music. It’s not just because we’re friends—emotionally, this is hard for me, too. I hope you understand what I mean.
Yeah, I get it. I find it difficult, too, if it doesn’t happen.
Being Resilient Part 1
I hope people help you out with this project again. Before we conclude, I want to say thank you. What I admire about you is your resilience. You never say, “I’m quitting.” You’re an example of perseverance. Honestly, they should write a book about your resilience. It’s a huge compliment because you show that, despite everything, you always come back stronger.
Yes, and hopefully, this time will be different. It was sad that I couldn’t do anything with the last project due to COVID. But I’ll tell you one more thing before we conclude. I want to go on tour. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. If I just release the music, I feel like there’s a bigger goal I’m missing.
Being Resilient Part 2
After the release of my first album, I was able to go on tour with Doro. That was great, but it was short, and I wanted to do more. With my second album, I had a lot of problems with my visa and everything, so right after the release, I had to go back to Japan. I had to quit everything, and it was really difficult.
Actually, before the release of the album, we tried, and we put in a lot of effort, but back then, it was hard because I was Japanese. Many bands said no to me—like, they didn’t want to take a Japanese singer on tour. It was the same excuse over and over: “We’re a heavy metal band. We need a real musician, not a ‘stupid cutie idol.’” Lars kept saying, “No, no, Saeko is a real musician. She can sing.” But we didn’t get a chance to show our music because of those biases.
Being Resilient Part 3
It was really hard, but now things are different, so I’m hopeful. The sad part was, that even though I released the album, I couldn’t do anything with it. I couldn’t tour. Then, after over 10 years, I launched a crowdfunding campaign, and this time, of course, the goal wasn’t just to release an album—it was to go on tour after the release. But then COVID hit again. I released the album, and to me, it was a really good album.
I got fantastic reviews—some magazines even gave it a 10 out of 10, and many gave 9 out of 10 or 9.5 out of 10. It was well received. One Japanese journalist from Burrn! even chose it as the best album of the year, and Mundo Metal also chose it as one of the best 4 albums with female metal musicians. But despite all that, we still couldn’t go on tour.
Being Resilient Part 4
To me, going on tour, and performing live, is more important than just releasing albums. This is why I decided to release a mini album this time—it’s easier to put together. The songs are already there, so it’s less time-consuming, and then I have something to show to say, “Hey, I’m still here. Let’s find a tour opportunity.” I thought a mini-album would give us that chance. It’s been three years since the last album, so that’s too long. We need new material to help us find tour opportunities. With the mini album, I don’t have to spend too much time, and I can say, “Look, I’m still active.”
That way, when the tour comes, I can play both new material and songs from the previous album. If I release another full album before performing any shows, I need to play more songs from that album and won’t be able to play much from the previous album, “Holy Are We Alone”. To play many songs from that album, I think it’s better not to release a full album now.
Being a Japanese artist in Europe
You mentioned it was difficult for Japanese artists to tour in the early 2000s, and I understand that. But now, a lot has changed. Japanese bands tour Europe more often — Hanabi is coming to the Netherlands, Babymetal tours regularly, and Scandal and X Japan have played here too. Different genres, but overall, there’s much more acceptance now. The social climate has shifted, with online communities like Facebook groups helping fans discover new music. People are more open to it now. Lovebites, for example, built a solid following, even if they didn’t sell out everywhere, like in Italy last year. Overall, audiences are more receptive, so I think you’d face fewer challenges today.
Yes, I agree. Things are different now, and that’s a good sign. But as you mentioned, my last album was released over three years ago, and I feel like I need to have something new to show. That’s why I’ve been thinking that a mini-album could help create new momentum. Because, for example, I don’t think I’d even have the opportunity to speak with you in this interview if I hadn’t started a crowdfunding campaign. I need to show that I’m still here, to prove my presence. A mini album helps with that—it allows me to release new material without spending too much time and energy.
“I don’t make any full albums lightly”
You know, I don’t make any full albums lightly. When I make my album, I put all my heart into it. I read many books, research, come up with a new concept story, and spend time composing all the songs, which will cost me a lot … after all, what if I end up having no money to go on tour? I will be super sad again. Like, “Why always only releasing albums with no tour?” I think no one wants that kind of situation, right?”But then, because it’s a mini album, it’s difficult to secure a deal, and that’s the dilemma.
Final words
I completely understand and I just want to thank you for your time today. With the hope that it works out.
Thank you so much! Let’s hope it does. If it doesn’t, I’ll figure something out. I’ll try again. I’ll have to think about it.
Please do, and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.